I've Worked Too Hard For This
by TheyreLooking4MyHeart
Summary: What happens when your good isn't good enough takes a toll on the four boys and their close friend Lauren. Their secrets will never be safe. Mature themes. Logan/OC Kendall/OC James/OC
1. Everything Is Not What It Seems

It was the middle of the day – the sun showing bright through the windows of Mrs. Knight's Apartment. Her son Kendall sat on the couch hitting the buttons on the game paddle hard. He wasn't alone though. At the other end of the couch his best friend Lauren sat Indian style - Her nose was in a notebook. He would glance out the corner of his eye whenever she huffed or began to furiously erase with her number 2 pencil.

"Having fun?" Kendall asked sarcastically. However, Lauren didn't answer. Kendall smirked and continued to play his game.

Lauren was a petite fair skinned girl, with long blond hair. She had small naturally pink lips, her cheeks naturally blushed red. Her eyes were what truly stood out to Kendall because they were wide and they were piercing green. She was a friend from Minnesota. Him and the other three grew up with her. Kendall can remember fully well of the pain that seized him when he had to leave her. He didn't think he could do it. In the end he left, reluctantly without her. But by the grace of God she was here no later than a week after they had left.

Her parents had decided to let her go but said she would have to find a job in order to stay. And she found one. It's why her full concentration was on the notebook.

Kendall was relived that she got away from her parents. Her mother was neglectful and the father was physically abusive and a drunk. Who knows what could have happened to her, It's why it hurt so much to leave. Kendall knew what he would be leaving her alone to defend herself against. It took everything in him to leave. But she encouraged him to go, reassured him she would be okay. He made her promise to call if he ever needed him.

Kendall was happy it wouldn't ever come to that. He couldn't describe the feeling that washed over him when Lauren showed up at the Palmwoods. The grip that tightened around his heart let up, worry dissipated in his mind, racing thoughts of all that could go wrong, gone.

The five of them were finally reunited and succeeding well in the music industry. Her writing skills landed her a kick ass job as a song writer for singers. She was doing well and the money she banked was proof of that. He didn't know how much she made exactly but she could afford name brand accessories, clothes, make-up, hair stylist, her own apartment, things to fill the apartment up...ect. She was set for life.

What left Kendall puzzled was that even though she could afford all of that, she sat in his apartment wearing a white V-neck T and red cotton shorts. Her hair was pushed back in an inexpensive red head band, and she walked in with white flip flops that one would find at Wal-mart.

Guess it made him like her more. She was still Lauren from Minnesota. She didn't turn Hollywood like most of the people out here. The only thing that changed about her was the weight loss. She weighed around 150 when she got here and 3 months later she looked no more than 120. At first it worried him but she was still eating. Not like she once did but healthier. Mostly salads, fruits, and vegetables. Every now and then he would see her eat something like a doughnut or a candy bar. That eased him a bit. He couldn't really complain about it though. She looked really good. He found himself attracted to her more than ever. Of course he never dared to make a move on her or give her any idea that he wanted anything more than a friendship. He had Jo and he was faithful.

Kendall looked at Lauren who exhaled as she scratched the back of her head. He smiled. "Mind if a take a peek?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the TV. Lauren didn't say anything. Ignoring him once again and pressed a pencil to the paper. She thought for a moment then turned the pencil around to erase fervently.

"The fire extinguisher is empty," Kendall stated.

"Very funny," Lauren said.

There was a moment of silence until Lauren sighed heavily. She stared blankly at the notebook. Kendall paused the game and put the controller down.

He reached over to her to grab the notebook from her.

"Don't!" she panicked.

Kendall laughed. "I'm not going to read it," and just as he promised he closed the notebook and set it on the coffee table. He turned to a worn out Lauren. "Now..." he trailed off, turning back to the TV and changing it from the "game setting" to the "cable setting." "Entertainment Weekly" was on. A tall, skinny, women wearing a skin tight blue dress, was talking about the hot TV series "Glee"

"Let's just enjoy some TV. The other three will be back with the pizza," Kendall reminded.

An uneasy smile cracked Lauren's lips. Before she could say anything Kendall cut her off. "Hey, don't worry about the song. I'm sure you'll figure it out and it'll be brilliant."

"Yeah.." Lauren trailed off and got to her feet. "Um..."she started as she put slid her feet into her flip flops that had resided at the bottom of the sofa. "I'm not feeling well," She divulged.

Kendall got to his feet as well, a look of concern on his face. "I had like 5 cups of coffee this morning. I think it's messing with my stomach. Just need to lay down for a bit," she said.

"Or you could just be hungry," he said in a joking voice as he placed his hands firmly on her shoulders.

"No," she said, pulling his arms from her. Her tone sounded a bit annoyed. She took a step back and opened her mouth to talk but a over enthusiastic voice boomed through the apartment. Kendall saw Lauren jump a bit. He didn't blame her though, his heart had skipped a beat at James abrupt entrance.

"WOO! BIG TIME PIZZA!" James exclaimed as he walked over to them. Logan and Carlos were right behind him. Each held a small box of pizza in their hands. James was carrying 3 of them. "I got your favorite," he flashed a dazzling white smile at her. Before she could protest Logan spoke.

"Guys," he said in a grave tone. Everyone looked to see him pointing at the TV and brought their attention to it. Their arch rival "The Choir Infantry" was on the news now. The words "Pop Princess in love?" was at the bottom of the screen in white bold letters. Logan turned up the volume and they listened.

"It seems Choir has been out on a few dates with Jet from "New Town High" and the smiles on their face pretty much say it all. An insider says that Choir has been asked to write/sing a song for the series soundtrack but no word on if she's doing it or not. This is saying a lot because artist like "Gaga","Taylor Swift" and "Jo" the lead actress's boyfriend's band "Big Time Rush" have been turned down. Maybe hanging out with Jet is what's giving her the opportunity to. Aren't they adorable together? If you ask me this seems like a match made in heaven.

Lauren was shaking her head, her arms folded tightly across her chest. "Or a match made in hell," James mumbled. Logan made a gagging noise.

"What a media whore," Logan said. "I swear this girl only releases songs to make our lives hell. Always releasing a single the day we release one of our new singles," Logan fumed.

"I have to go," Lauren said heading for the door.

"What about your pizza?" James asked.

"It's not like I asked you to get e it," she retorted loudly.

James eye brows rose in astonishment. "Well..." James started under his breath. Kendall called after Lauren drowning out James profane rant.

"Lauren! Don't forget about your birthday-"

"I won't!" she yelled back and the door slammed closed.

"Look at all that make up she wears," Carlos said. Kendall looked back at the TV to see Choir on the red carpet. She wore her signature dark eyeliner with her thick bangs almost reaching the bone of her eyebrows. Her skin slightly tan. She looked like a barbie doll.

"Glad Lauren doesn't wear all that crap," Logan said.

"That's because she's naturally beautiful. She doesn't need all that," Carlos said. Logan got up and walked over to the fridge. James was still talking to himself which was annoying Kendall. He nudged James who said "I'm done. I don't care."

"Relax. She's not feeling well," Kendall defended.

"She never feels well," James was quick to say.

"Give her a break. You know how Gustavo is. Song writing is a hard job. You remember what happened to us when we took on the responsibility," Kendall reminded him.

"Oh yeah..." James trailed off into thought.

"Exactly. "Oh Yeah"" James sighed. Kendall slowly shook his head and finally dived into his pizza. But what was under his pizza became of more interest. It was Lauren's notebook.

"Is that Lauren's?" James asked.

"Uh yeah," Kendall answered not knowing James had also noticed it.

"What a space case," James said and took the notebook out from under Kendall's pizza box.

"Dude, she'll kill you," Kendall warned.

"How is she ever going to know?" James said in a "no big deal" kind of voice. Kendall rolled his eyes and began to flip through the channels.

"OH! Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!" Carlos shouted in excitement. "I love this movie!" Kendall watched Carlos raise his new slice of pizza in his hand, over his head. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" He shouted and jerked his pizza forward.

Logan, who was heading back over to the couch, was hit in the face with the toppings that had once resided on Carlos's pizza.

James went bug eyed, and Kendall stifled a laugh. Logan wiped the pizza off his face to reveal a grim look.

"Sorry?" Carlos said. Logan remained silent and walked over to the bathroom.

"You think he's mad?" Carlos asked the other two.

"No,"

"Not at all," James said and brought his attention back to the notebook. James began to scan the page of the notebook. Kendall took a bite of his pizza and looked at James. He was now wearing a confused expression.

"What?" Kendall question with curiosity.

"Did Lauren ever say anything about writing a song for "The Choir Infantry?" James asked. Logan poked his head outside the bathroom, listening attentively.

"No-" Kendall looked on.

"Well, there's a bunch of songs that are by her in this notebook," Logan rushed over and leaned over the couch to look on.

"Are you sure this is her song writing notebook?" James asked.

Carlos was now looking on. "She was writing a new one today," Kendall said.

James then flipped to through the pages till he found the last song that Lauren as working on. The notebook was only filled with songs by The Choir Infantry. Dating from the first hit single to the new one Lauren was working on.

"Lauren maybe a song writer but I think she's only The Choir Infantry's writer," Logan said.

"What the hell," James breath.

"Should we confront her?" Carlos asked.

"Give her a piece of our mind?" Logan asked next.

Kendall shot to his feet. "No!" He grabbed the notebook from James. "She's already stressed out enough,"

"But-"

"No buts! There's a reason why she doesn't want us to know,"

James got up. "Yeah because she knows she's ruining our singing career by making The Choir Infantry's better!" James retorted.

"She's not doing it on purpose. She needed a job. Maybe this was the only one she could get?"

"Then what do you expect us to do? Huh? Look if we confront her she'll feel bad and stop writing for Choir. BTR will be back on top. Don't you want that?" James asked.

Kendall sucked in his lip, thinking. He looked like he was about to cave but he took a step back. "No. We keep our mouths shut. She came here to L.A for us. If writing for our rival is what keeps her here then so be it."

"I can see why she's so stressed out. Writing songs for the ice queen herself?" Carlos shivered.

"We support her anyway we can," Kendall said. Logan and Carlos nodded in agreement. Kendall's eyes fell on James, waiting.

James huffed and sat back down. "Fine," he said reluctantly.

The next morning the boys were getting dressed for Lauren's birthday. They were celebrating at LA Traviata. It was a nice Italian Restaurant which Kendall had reserved 3 months in advance. It was all the way in Long Beach so they needed to hurry in order to make their reservation. Kendall was antsy because Lauren was supposed to be at his apartment 10 minutes ago.

Logan came rushing out his bedroom wearing a navy blue V-neck shirt with a black dress coat. He wore black dressy pants and black shoes that gave off a new shine. He had a gift that was square like wrapped in pink wrapping paper under his arm. He placed it on the counter and looked at Kendall. "How do I look?"

"Absolutely gorgeous!" Kendall joked. Logan didn't look amused. "You look fine," Kendall said, more serious.

Logan straightened his already straightened tie. Kendall laughed. "Hope she likes the gift," Logan continues stressing.

"Wow..." Kendall said. The front door opened and Lauren walked in. Kendall and Logan were taken by how well she cleaned up. She wore a Pink Sweetheart Short Satin Cocktail Dress with matching shoes. Her hair was pulled back in a side bun, with a small bump on the top. It looked like it was holding a lot of hairspray. Her ears had small diamond studs in them. Her cheeks her peach, her lips shined with clear lip gloss. She looked like the millions of dollars she owned for once. She was looking around the room with her eyes as soon as she entered. She hurried up a bit, approaching Kendall with an exhausted look.

"Kendall, have you seen my notebook?" She asked.

"Apparently, breathing is not on the menu this afternoon," he said.

"Stop joking for once. Look I think I left it here-"

"You did. I put it in my room," But this information didn't seem to ease worry her a bit. "I didn't read it if that's what you're now thinking," Kendall lied.

This information did the trick though. She smiled. She pinched his cheek. "Always trust worthy," She said. Kendall grabbed her hand.

"Yeah, yeah," He said. Lauren made her way towards Kendall's bedroom when James came out. They collided into one another.

"Whoa!" James said. "Wow..." he said finally getting a good look at her. "You look amazing," he complimented. Lost as he eyed her up and down.

"Thank you," She said smiling brightly. She brushed past him and into Kendall's room. James walked over to Kendall and mouth the words "Holy shit," Kendall nodded knowing what he meant by that. Lauren looked hot. Not that she wasn't always pretty but this was her at her best and it was always breath taking. When Lauren emerged from the room she was tightly clutching her notebook. "I'm just going to take this back to my room-"

"AH-ah!" Kendall said taking the notebook from her. "You can pick it up once we get back. We might end up going to McDonald's to Celebrate if we don't make this reservation," Kendall said.

"As long as I'm with you four that's all that matters,"

"Nice try," Kendall said to her and put the notebook on the counter. Lauren went to protest but Kendall wrapped a arm around her back, leading her towards the exit. "My mom is waiting in the car. You won't die a few more hours without the notebook,"

"You never know," Lauren said trying to turn back around when Kendall reached for the door knob.

"You are not escaping. Now let's go," He said.


	2. Then Ends Will Never Justify The Means

When they finally arrived at the Restaurant,they were seated as soon as they got there. The waiter took down their preferred drinks and walked off. They silently took in the life around them. Live piano music was playing, sweeping drapes hung about the windows,and Chandeliers hung from the high ceiling, "Such a beautiful place," Mrs. Knight said as she took a seat by her son at the round table.

Kendall looked at Lauren from across the table."Well, I know how much Lauren loves the opera and this was the one place I could find that resembled one," Kendall revealed. Lauren smiled at him softly, and thanked him. "Just wanted to make your 17 B-day one to remember." he smiled back.

"The Chandeliers are truly something to admire," Mrs. Knight said as she craned her neck up to look at them. They all took to their menu's and it wasn't long after that when the the waiter returned with their drinks.

"Are we all set to order?" he asked politely.

"Birthday girl first!" Carlos said. Lauren chuckled. She looked up at the waiter and asked for Caesar salad. James was next and he ordered Beef Carpaccio. Carlos got the Mozzarella Caprese, Mrs. Knight got the Soup & Salad Combo. Kendall was next and got the same as James. Logan ended up getting the Caesar Salad as well.

There was only one small interruption when 3 girls approached the table with camera's. They wanted their pictures with Carlos, Kendall, and James. Logan sat their feeling a little stupid and slightly offended when he wasn't asked to join. Other than that,t he celebrating was going great. After the Entree, Kendall pulled out something small and box shaped from his coat pocket. "So since I put this _amazing_ b-day together, I think it's only fair that I am the first to give you your gift," He said holding it out before her. Lauren knew very week it was jewelery. Possibly a ring. Her eyes had weld up a bit. As she reached for it her elbow ended up hitting her glass cup. Which spilled all over her. She dropped the gift in reaction and pulled back out the sit.

"Dammnit!" she said getting to her feet. The others did as well. Kendall was trying to pick up the glass. They were in as much shock her as her. Naturally, there were onlookers. Lauren looked upset and spoke. "Ill be right back," She said and walked away. The waiter came rushing over.

"Is everyone okay?" He asked.

"James go check on her," Mrs. Knight said. James didn't hesitate to run after a distraught Lauren.

"We're just going to get the check," Kendall said.

When James found the ladies bathroom he slowly walked in. Before her could call for Lauren he heard a harsh coughing which sounded a bit like someone was choking. "Lauren?" he asked. James saw the heels from the first stall. He knew it was Lauren. He walked over and tapped on it. "Lauren are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" She snapped then cleared her throat.

"Are you throwing up?" James asked. Suddenly the door swung open banging against the side. Lauren pushed past him but ended up stumbling. James was quick to catch her before she could fall.

"Let me go," Lauren said trying to regain her balance. James helped her over tot he sinks. James was in speechless. He didn't know what was going on.

"Must be my nerves," she laughed uncomfortably. She turned the sink on and dispense soap into her hand. James slowly walked over to her. "I'm fine, just a little embarrassed is all," She said in what sounded like a convincing tone. James saw a few stray strands of hair that had had gotten loose from the hairsprays hold. He gently pushed it back but it was ineffective. Lauren stood up straight, turning off the faucet.

"It's okay, we can pick up some extra food so you don't have to go all day without eating," James said. Lauren turned away and grabbed a paper towel for the weird looking contraption that held them.

"That won't be necessary. Besides, Kendall has spent enough money on me today,"

"I'm sure he won't mind," James said.

"God. Can you just let it go?" Lauren asked rudely.

"What is your problem lately?" James bit back. "All I am is nice to you and you're always biting my head off," James said.

"Maybe if you weren't so damn annoying-" she stopped mid-sentence to see that she had hurt him.

"Or maybe if I was tall and blond and my name was Kendall maybe you wouldn't be so apt to bite my head off," He began to walk away but stopped at her side. "News flash: He has a girlfriend," James said and stormed out. Lauren closed her eyes and turned back to the sink.

When James got back to the table a tall dark man wearing shades, and was dressed up was their. He spotted James and opened his arms. "Speak of the talented handsome devil!" he said.

Normally, James would have lit up like a Christmas tree at a high compliment like this but he remained grim.

"Why so serious?" He laughed. James looked at Kendall.

"Can we leave?" he asked solemnly.

"Where's Lauren?" Kendall asked.

"Oh, you mean your girlfriend?" James asked.

"Girlfriend?" Logan and Carlos repeated simultaneously.

Kendall furrowed his eyebrows. "Girl-" but stopped short when Lauren was making her way back over to the table. Lauren stopped in her tracks staring at Hawk. Her mouth had dropped. A satisfied smile curved James lips.

Lauren looked at the others who were staring back at her. "Hey, Lauren. Yeah, guess what? We know who you are," James said making a big joke out of this.

"I can explain," Lauren urged. Lauren looked at Kendall frightened.

Hawk looked at James. "Of course you know who she is. She-"

"Writes for "The Choir Infantry," James said wanting to be the one to out her. "We read your notebook. Betrayal must come so easily too you," James said nastily.

"Wr-" Hawk began slightly confused but Lauren stepped in front of him cutting him off.

"That's right," Lauren said. "I write for "The Choir Infantry"" she said her voice cracking, on the verge of tears.

"James..."Kendall put a hand to his forehead.

"Don't defend her. But why wouldn't you? I mean, you obviously love her... More than Jo from what I can see," They all looked at Kendall. Kendall's cheeks flushed red. He looked so uncomfortable and fled under pressure.

Mrs. Knight soon followed after her hurt son. Logan and Carlos felt bad for their friend and ended up running after him as well.

Hawk picked up a danish from a deserted plate. He took a bite of it and looked at Lauren . "You better not have eaten any of this. Last thing I need is you to become a fat cow," he said rudely and walked away. Lauren's right eye twitched. She looked so hurt as she stood there tears falling from her eyes, her fist clenched, and her eyes looking straight ahead but not seeming to looking at anything. She looked lost in thought. James expression turn suspicious then his eye brows lifted as if he had figured something out.

James got up from his seat. He wanted to say something to her but she brought her eyes to his and he swallowed hard. "You're going to pay for how you've hurt me today," she threatened.

James didn't say anything and walked away.

That evening, around 7:45p, Lauren found herself at the boys apartment. Again she was worry stricken. This time about Kendall and not some measly notebook that could have very well destroyed her relationship with him. Though, really it was her irresponsibility that landed her in this situation. She wished to hell she could blame James but she knew it wasn't not his fault.

She knocked but no one answered. She got restless and touched the doorknob. She hesitated for a moment trying to prepare herself for the bomb that could go off again. She took in a deep breath and turned the knob. The door opened to reveal a quiet , seemingly empty apartment. She cautiously walked in, not hearing the slightest noise of life in the house. But a light from the bathroom was on and she tip toed over to it.

Light emitted from the partially cracked door. "Gah!" a familiar voice came from inside. Lauren knew which boy it was. Logan. He sounded like he was in pain. Lauren slightly pushed the door in and sure enough, Logan stood there. His hands gripping the sink. She took a couple of steps in to get a better look at him. His face turned white when he saw her.

Lo..." her eyes had fallen on his hands that were dripping red. Her mouth had dropped and fear and shock took over her body. Logan ran at her, grabbing her violently into the bath room, slamming the door shut and throwing her against the bathroom door. His hands were tight around her small arms, holding her against the door. Lauren had turned her head and closed her eyes tightly. Logan could feel her shaking under his hands. She was shaking so bad that he could even see her tremor. And then it hit him. Her father. Logan let go, ashamed. He laced his fingers together, pressing his clasped hands to his forehead. stepping back. Lauren fell to her knees, continuing to shake.

"Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren," Logan repeated quickly squeezing his eyes tight. He could feel a migraine coming on. "Are you out of your mind!" he asked.

Lauren was breathing heavily and fast."What...are...you doing!" her voice trembled.

Logan opened his eyes to see Lauren curled up in the feedle position. Logan cautiously walked over to her and knelt beside her. He tried his best to not make her jump but when he placed a hand on her knee she jumped. "it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm sorry. I panicked." Logan explained. "I should have never touched you like that," he said sympathetically. He went to touch her cheek but she turned her head. Her eyes had opened and she was staring at blood bleeding from his wrist.

"oh my God. Logan what are you doing to yourself," She asked. A hint of disgust and pain in her voice.

"You don't understand. No one does. Not James, not Carlos, especially not Kendall. Everybody loves them. You can't quiet grasp the stress I'm under being as famous as I am. And how stressful it is to stay this famous. You saw those girls. They didn't care about me. It's like I'm not good enough. It's the only way I can deal with it. You just don't understand,"

Lauren dragged herself to the corner of the bathroom, not far from where she collapsed. With all her strength she pushed herself up to her feet. She stumbled a bit but kept a dead lock on Logan until she bumped into the sink. She pulled open the drawer and pulled out a blue makeup bag. She dumped the bag in the sink. She was still shaking violently. Logan stood up watching her. She rummaged through the make up paraphernalia till she grabbed a eye liner. She pulled down at her under eye and began to rub the eye liner on the bottom. She then did the top. Lauren dropped into back into the sink and picked up the eye shadow. With shaking hands and began to apply the black with the wand.

"What are you doing?" When she finished the other eye, she looked up into the mirror. Logan raised an eyebrow.

"I understand exactly what you're going through," She pivoted. "So!"she yelled. "Don't make excused for yourself," she said going right in his face.

"Just because you're a girl doesn't mean,"

"I'm not just any girl. Come on think here, Logan. You're the one with the brains. Think." She said. "I know you know I'm not just the writer for "The Choir Infantry"

Logan pulled the head band from her head and her bangs fell forward. "You are her," Logan finally answered.


End file.
